Bloodborne causes many gaming journalists to quit their jobs.

The new PS4 exclusive game Bloodborne has received major critical acclaim, it currently sits at a 92 on Metacritic. Most reviewers love the atmosphere, satisfying yet brutal combat, and intricate level design. However, there is a small minority that have thrown their hands up in the air and decided that video games just aren’t for them anymore. The following are anonymous quotes from professional game journalists.

“When I realized Bloodborne didn’t have an in game map, I was worried. My sense of direction has seriously depleted over the years, especially since I’m so used to waypoints and arrows telling me where to go. I’ve become so used to not thinking for myself, I have started a petition for From Software to implement a google maps like feature for any upcoming DLC. Until then, I think I will take up more linear activities, such as cycling or reading books.”

“If this is the future of gaming, I simply can’t be apart of it anymore. I have a past of self abuse that I need to put behind me. After being assigned to review the game, I played it for 5 hours, and needed to call my sponsor for an emergency pow wow. I have to value my sobriety over my life long hobby here, I owe it to my family and friends.”

“After spending 20 hours with the game, I finally reached what I assumed to be the final boss. 35 attempts, 2 broken controllers and a glass full of tears later, I conquered the “Cleric Beast.” “Prey Slaughtered” enveloped the screen. I thought I’d done it, I’d beat Bloodborne. I jumped for joy and waited to bask in the glory of the final credits rolling…. To my dismay, no credits rolled. Hell, there wasn’t even a cut scene. I was perplexed, then I thought to myself, “aha! From Software is being “obtuse” and “un handholdy!” I get it. I must just have to wait it out. My coworker came in and told me I had simply cleared the first area. I was horrified. I guess I am just not cut out for this anymore. 20 years in the industry, and it’s time to throw in the towel, I put in my 2 weeks in at IGN, and hopefully can still land a job as a bank teller with my 2 year accounting degree.”

“I actually did beat the game. But I didn’t do it without losing my girlfriend, dropping out of college and losing my job due to missing a major deadline. My death count was 1,653. It took me 279 hours. My dog didn’t go outside for a week, and I can’t find him this morning. I am beginning to think he has left me too. I finally beat the game, but was it worth it? I am starting to think not, which is why I am reevaluating my life.”

Wow! There you have it, play at your own risk. Seems like Bloodborne is truly not for the faint of heart.


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